"But unlike previous winters, when Boras was able to turn from Napoleon at Waterloo into Houdini at the eleventh hour by plucking a market-breaking offer out of his hat from the proverbial 'one dumb owner'..."


Modern English: "Jesus fucking Christ, did you read that SI.com bit about Scott Boras? That one sentence about 'the proverbial "one dumb owner"' is the worst goddamn thing anyone ever wrote."